Why Are Relationships So Much Harder Today Than They Were Before?

INTRODUCTION TO THE SERIES

Imagine this: your grandparents married at 20 and stayed together for 50 years. Fast forward to now — "situationships," ghosting, commitment issues, and emotional burnout are the new normal.
If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why does love feel so complicated now?”, you’re not alone.
The truth is, today's relationships aren't harder because people are worse — they're harder because the world changed, and we were never taught how to adapt.
In this series, Modern Love Unfiltered, we'll dive deep into the hidden reasons why maintaining a relationship today feels like running a marathon — and how you can thrive without losing yourself in the process.
Get ready for real talk, relatable examples, and fresh, psychology-backed advice that meets you where you are. No filters. No clichés. Just the real stuff that matters

Why Are Relationships So Much Harder Today Than They Were Before?

The Pressure of Perfect Love in an Imperfect World

If you've ever thought, "Why does love seem so much more complicated now?", you're definitely not alone.
Back then, relationships seemed straightforward: meet someone, fall in love, work through problems together, and build a life.
Today, it’s like we’re swiping through endless choices, second-guessing real emotions, and wondering if we’re missing out on someone better — all while trying not to lose ourselves.
It’s not that people have changed dramatically; it’s that the world around us has. And it’s happening faster than our emotional wiring can keep up.

According to psychologists like Dr. Barry Schwartz (author of The Paradox of Choice), having too many options doesn’t make us happier — it actually leads to more anxiety, regret, and dissatisfaction.
In love, this means we’re constantly wondering:
"Is there someone better out there?"
"Am I settling?"
"Am I enough?"
And just like that, real connection feels harder to find and even harder to hold onto.

Social Media and the Myth of the "Perfect Couple"

Another silent relationship killer? Comparison culture.
Scroll through Instagram or TikTok and you’ll see couples vacationing in Bali, cooking romantic dinners, giving expensive gifts... and smiling the whole time.
It’s easy to forget that we’re comparing our real, messy, emotional lives with someone else’s carefully curated highlight reel.
Research from the University of Houston actually found that the more time people spend on social media, the more likely they are to experience symptoms of depression — largely because of negative social comparisons.

When we start believing that our love story should look like a movie or a viral post, we set ourselves (and our partners) up for constant disappointment.

Emotional Unavailability: A Modern Epidemic

Modern life runs on busyness, distractions, and emotional burnout.
We’re juggling careers, side hustles, endless notifications, mental health struggles, and sometimes, just the sheer exhaustion of "keeping up."
No wonder so many people are emotionally unavailable without even realizing it!
And when two people who are running on empty try to connect, it often leads to shallow communication, resentment, and confusion about why “the spark is gone.”

Psychologist Dr. Lindsay Gibson describes emotional unavailability as “the inability to have a close, meaningful, and mutually satisfying relationship.”
It’s not just about avoiding deep talks — it’s about being too guarded, overwhelmed, or fearful to let someone really know you.

The Good News: Love Isn’t Dead — It’s Evolving

Here’s the good news:
Love isn’t harder because it’s broken.
It’s harder because real love now requires skills that weren’t talked about before — emotional intelligence, self-awareness, communication, and boundary-setting.
In the past, relationships survived on duty and tradition.
Today, they thrive on connection, growth, and choosing each other over and over, even when it's messy.

That’s what this blog series is all about.
In the coming posts, we’ll dig deep into the real reasons modern love feels the way it does — and how you can build a relationship that actually feels good to live in.
No fairy tale needed. Just real, courageous, beautiful love.

Stay tuned. 🌿

With love,
Sofia Winters

About the Author:
Sofia Winters is a relationship writer and emotional wellness advocate behind OnBlogz.com. With a background in communication psychology and years of mentoring individuals navigating modern love, Sofia brings a fresh, empathetic voice to conversations about relationships, emotional health, and self-growth. Her passion lies in uncovering the real, messy beauty of human connection in a world that often feels curated and disconnected. Through her writing, she offers readers practical, psychology-backed advice infused with warmth, honesty, and hope. Sofia believes that even in today’s fast-paced world, real love — grounded in trust, growth, and authenticity — is still possible.

Today's relationships can feel overwhelming, confusing, and full of emotional hurdles. In this blog post, Sofia Winters unpacks why love feels harder today than in the past — from social media comparisons and emotional unavailability to the endless paradox of choice. Using psychology-backed insights and relatable examples, Sofia opens up a fresh conversation about how love is evolving and how we can build better, healthier connections in the modern world.

Join the "Modern Love Unfiltered" series and discover how to thrive in today's relationship landscape.